CREATIVE WRITING

...no, I really meant that title literally. This is a crossover I wrote in 2002/2003. Three parts, making fun of a combination of Matrix, Harry Potter and Help! with the Beatles. I just found it and decided to share it, just to make a total fool of myself in front of you.
And please excuse any mistakes I made there, my English has improved rather much since then :-D

Help! There is no wand
(Harry Potter/Matrix/Beatles Crossover)

Just that you know it before you read this: I own none of the characters, not much of the story’s key elements, I only imagined how things could have been if my favourite film, my favourite book and my favourite music group would get mixed up. The Matrix characters and concepts belong to the Wachowski brothers, everything concerning Harry Potter to Joanne Rowling, and the Beatles and all other acting persons to themselves! Please don’t try to punish me for using them, I only wanted to have some fun in boring school lessons!!!!

„You really shouldn’t be here, if my aunt and my uncle ever find out...” Harry sat down on a park bank and looked at Ron and Hermione, who were just sitting down on either side of him. “Rubbish, it’s your birthday, no question, we....” Ron was unable to finish his sentence, because to their greatest surprise, a young woman dressed in black had fallen over his outstretched legs. “Oh shit! Listen., you never saw me, okay?” She stood up and ducked behind the bushes there, just in time not to be seen by the man in suit and sunglasses, who came running behind her. He looked around-and took out a weapon! Terrified, they ran behind the bushes as well, and Hermione said to the woman: “Quick, come with us....” “No, I have to stay here, the phone..... forget it and go away!” The man, however, seemed to have gone away, because he didn’t follow them. Instead, two other men showed up, both dressed in long black coats. The younger of them stretched out his hand to the woman and pulled her out of her sitting position: “Are you alright, Trinity?” “Yes, I’m fine. What about you? Did you get the disk?” “No” the other man answered “but we can still manage it—I think Neo can change time as well.” “No, I most certainly can’t. It will go wrong, you mark my words.” “You never know what will happen if you didn’t have the try first.” Hermione was grinning while she said that. “Anyway, why didn’t you tell us straight that you aren’t Muggles either?, we would have-“ In the same moment, everything around them became blurry and then disappeared, and then they found themselves in a dirty garage. “Er- I think that was more than half an hour.” Trinity said pointing at a calendar on the wall. “ Or they don’t change the calendar very often here.” “1965? I told you I wouldn’t manage that.” Voices were heard, more clearly as the speaking persons came closer. “ No, John, I think we should get another date for the interview—who the hell are you?” “Completely unimportant, could you tell us what year it is?” Morpheus interrupted him. The four men, who had come in, merely stared at him, obviously considering him as completely mad,“1965, what did you think?” “2002” Ron answered: “Something around 2200.” Neo said. Meanwhile, Hermione had stood up: “Are you the Beatles, by any chance?” “Bingo!” laughed Ringo. “How did you do that? I mean-without a wand? And how can you change the time?” Harry asked Neo curiously. “I didn’t really change time, I only changed the Matrix.” Was he given as an answer. “WAND? MATRIX? Sorry, but I think you’re all completely crazy-if you want an autograph, just say it and don’t play such a show.” Paul had raised his eyebrows while speaking. “Let’s show them!” Ron giggled, what made Harry and Hermione, like himself, pull out their wands and point them at the Beatles. But to their surprise, Neo, Trinity and Morpheus had reacted as well, and each was now holding a weapon. “Oookay, fellows, don’t panic. I really do hope none of you is called Mark David Chapman{the man who shot John Lennon fifteen years later}!” John said, sounding very scared at once.” tell us everything:” “Me first!” Harry called. “No; I want to tell them everything” Ron protested. “Shut up, I will do it” Harry said, and began: “Okay, Ron, Hermione and myself, we have got magical Powers and we even attend a wizarding school. In my opinion, these three people over there are wizards as well, and they work for Voldemort.” “Well, we don’t even know him. It’s more the fact, that this world is nothing but a simulation, who is displayed to the humans by some AI-machines, who use us as their batteries. We are resistance fighters, and Neo here is the One, he will save the world, to free the human race.” Morpheus was explaining. “Er-okay, we will believe that blindly.” John started, but he was interrupted by George: “ Hey, whatever you have taken, give us something of it, I want to be high as well:” “And so you thought, you let these three, cast a spell so you can save mankind in the past and get a day off in the future?” John carried on, fighting to suppress a laugh. “ No, in fact, we only wanted to go half an hour backwards in time, but something must have gone wrong. “ “Hey, did you hear that?” Harry asked. “Someone is coming. Maybe the death eaters?” “Or Agents?” “Or the Kaili- sect?” “Shut up, everybody.” They hid behind some old tires, but it didn’t work, because just as the person who had come in passed them, George leant against the tires, and they fell to the floor. He looked up- and saw a death eater, who immediately wanted to attack Harry. But he didn’t manage to grab him, because Trinity had reacted to the attacker as she always did- and beaten him down. Unfortunately, Harry had tried to defence himself as well, he had taken out his wand and cried: “ Stupefy:” and the spell hit Trinity instead of the death eater. “What the...!” John stuttered, and ducked just in time to avoid being hit by the kick Neo had aimed at Harry. The kick hit Ron, who pulled out his wand and, half blind, cried “Expelliarmus!” The disarming spell hit George, who grabbed a hammer to fight them off. In meantime, Harry had spoken the counterspell and reawaken Trinity, who was a little bit angry at him. She prepared herself to place another blow, but didn’t do it as she saw Ringo hitting Harry with his drumsticks. Hermione tried to mediate: “ Hey, come on, everybody! Don’t act so childish, we should...” but she didn’t finish it and tried to hit Paul, who was throwing nails at her. While she had spoken, Morpheus had kicked the hammer out of George’s hand. They were so noisy while the fight went on that they didn’t hear the door open, and they didn’t realise all the people there until they had come very close: Agents Jones and Brown, accompanied by some death eaters and a couple of sect people, who carried a pot of red colour. Immediately, they stopped fighting each other and fought their enemies instead. Harry stunned some of the sect people, and Neo and Trinity finished off the death eaters, and to make the mess complete, Paul and John, shattered their guitars on the Agents’ heads. After about ten minutes, the fight was over. “Let’s get away form here.” Morpheus said, walking over to one of the cars. He sat behind the wheel, Paul riding shotgun, and Hermione, John and Neo on the backseats. The others squeezed into the trunk compartment. They drove off into a busy street. Hermione started with her sermon again: “Okay, will you listen now? I even got a proof for what I wanted to say. I think we should unite against our enemies, and not fight each other. I mean: who else could we ask? Who would believe us?” “Right.” John admitted “And we really managed to fight them, hell, yeah. Anyway, could you teach me that kind of fighting?” he asked Neo. “I don’t think I could, but I agree with you all, we have to take on them together or we will never win.” “One little problem, Neo: They are all plugged in. They could turn into agents every second now.” Morpheus didn’t seem to like the thought. “If they can, why didn’t they do it already?? I mean, with the three kids, their magic could be in the way, but with these four? Maybe they are special in some way, too.” Trinity said. “Of course they are special! They wrote things like Let it be and Get back, after all.” Harry said. “Write what, please?” Paul asked. “Okay, at least you are going to write it in a few years.” The car stopped outside the town, behind some little house. While getting out of the car, Neo wrapped one arm around Trinity and hugged her. “Oh, how sweet! Though you’re fighting the whole world, you still have time to love each other?” John asked curiously. “Love is all you need: “ Neo grinned. “It must have been someone really intelligent who wrote such a line.” John was impressed. “ Yes, it was , it was you, er it will be you.” “I don’t get it. You know all songs we are going to write?” Paul was nearly speechless. “Yes, but we won’t tell you. You are going to write them anyway.” They had sat down on a bank in the garden and in the grass around it. “I think we should put up a plan about how we are going to act.” Ron suggested. “Dear, we are not playing Hide-and-seek. This is a very serious thing. We are terrorists on the run, these guys are being chased by a radical sect, and some black magic wizards are behind you. We have to be very, very careful.” Trinity said. “If only Sirius was here. I’m sure he could help us. He knows what it’s like to be on the run and how to manage not to be caught.” Harry said thoughtfully. “Sirius? How can a star be on the run?” George asked. “Huh? Star? He isn’t a star, and anyway, aren’t you four stars a s well?” “No, I’m talking about stars in the true sense of the word. Sirius is the brightest star on the nocturnal northern sky, I thought everybody would konw that.” “The Sirius I am talking about is not a star but my godfather. He is a criminal on the run from the keepers of justice in the magical world.” “Yeah, but he isn’t here, or IS HE?” Hermione said, suddenly struck by a thought. “ He wanted to come to the meeting point as well. What if he turned up the minute we all disappeared?” “Wouldn’t he have shown up by now?” “Right, I didn’t think of it....” “Is there any way we are going back to our time soon? Ron asked. “ My mom will be mad with fear if I don’t come back home.” “Well, we could have another try of time travelling....” “No way! And end up in Cesar’s time or with some nice dinosaurs? We will find another way!” “I even think we could try, it’s just one little thing. Neo, please don’t get upset, but I believe you would have managed it very easily if you had only trusted yourself to do it.” Trinity was speaking very silent, as though she couldn’t decide whether she wanted to be heard or not. “Well, then we’ll have to wait a long time. I surely won’t try it again after what happened. To you four, what is that sect, why are they behind you?” “Long story, Ringo is wearing a ring, and so they want to sacrifice him to their goddess, Kaili.” ”Not very polite, sacrifice some strangers...Why don’t they take their own people?” “They won’t take that ring, of course.” The talk went on for about half an hour, but then they had all fallen asleep.
They woke up very earl in the morning, and got up very slowly. After a few minutes, Paul started complaining, because he had a song in mind, but no writing utensiles to write it down. Finally, Hermione summoned some paper and a pen(first it dind’t work and she summoned Jean Marie LePen) to shut him up. They sat in circle on the grass and Ringo started to speak(Paul didn’t really pay attention, because he was busy writing all the time): “ All right, so now we should make some plan. We have three groups of very different enemies to deal with. And we have to be sure how far each of us can go, what they’re able to do, and how we have to use this powers so we can finally win.” “I don’t get it!!! That song you’re writing, that’s Yesterday , isn’t it?” Trinity had just had a look at what Paul was writing. “ Er, yes, that’s what I wanted to call it. Will that song be successful, or should I let it?” “NO! It’s gonna be your greatest hit, even thirty years later, everybody will know it- off by heart!” “Could you have your highly intellectual talk about music as soon as we have won? Thank you.” Ringo was slightly annoyed, obviously enjoying to act as a kind of leader. “If you order it, sir!” “Shut up! Now, who should we take on first?” “Slow down a bit, Ringo” Morpheus said “ I don’t want to insult you, but how will you and your friends fight? Sing them into flight? We’ll teach you at least the essentials of fighting-though it will be different, without any programmes.” “Huh?” “Forget it and come with me.”
A few hours later, they all sat on the grass again. “Wow, that was so cool. Could we take on the Kaili-sect first? Shall they try and take the ring!!!” Ringo was over-excited. “That was exactly what we were going to propose. We should take the easiest enemies first, and that’s the sect. Once we finished them off, we can beat the death eaters, sand then the agents. That will be the most difficult part-well, after all you told us, wer can’t really kill them...” Ron said. “But we don’t know whether they can stand our magic...” “ Alright, so we have to go back into town. Where will we find the Kaili-sect?” Neo asked. “In their temple, of course. They will prepare the sacrifice.” Paul answered. “Alright, get in the car, I will drive today.” “no! Everybody drive, I don’t mind, but not John, please!” George pleaded. But John had already sat down at the wheel. They all got in the car (the other three Beatles very hesitantly) and John drove off. They all immediately understood why George, Paul and Ringo didn’t want John to drive. He didn’t drive along the road, but half the time through the bushes and fields beside it, all in much too high speed. On their way to the town, they overtook some formula one racing cars, drove over several little animals(and the first sect member, by the way). By the time they reached town, everybody was very pale. “And most people keep saying women would be bad drivers. Well, here’s the living proof that this prejudice is wrong.” Trinity said, thereby getting Hermione on one of her favourite subjects: “ Did you notice that we’re completely outnumbered here? Only two out of ten are female. Is it that heroes are always male, or did they just take us for the cooking?” “Oh, if they wanted me for cooking, they could as well eat pure poison.” Trinity was grinning. “ And anyway, what’s your problem? Weren’t you allowed to play with boys when you were young? No one here wants to discriminate us. It was coincidence, or maybe fate, we didn’t run into a girl group, and I really don’t understand your hatred, Hermione.” “Hey, could you stop your psychoanalysis?. We’re there. This is the temple.” John interrupted. They entered the temple very quietly, Ringo first(to get them into a trap), followed closely by the other Beatles. The sect came out, bound the Beatles to a table, except Ringo, who was laid upon it. But when the guru lifted the knife to kill him, it seemed to be much too heavy to lift it, as though gravity had become much stronger. The strange feeling disappeared as Neo looked away from the knife and at Harry, who tried to summon it by pointing his wand at it. But again it didn’t work, because Ron shoved an elbow into his side to show him some very pretty sect girls he had just spotted nearby. Harry’s hand slipped- and he summoned the sect boss himself. “ Traitors! Die!” the guru lifted the knife and tried to kill the person standing next to him-Harry. Morpheus kicked the knife off his hand, while Neo was yelling: “ Can’t any of you do that summonnig charm thing right? What is wrong with you people? If you aren’t able to do it, let it be!” He pulled out a gun and shot several sect people, what caused their co-members to pull out some guns, too.(Ho the hell did they get guns? Did Kaili send them?) The Beatles, not knowing what to do otherwise, had started to sing “Under attack”, although it would be written by ABBA about fifteen years later(but it really fit to the situation).
“We managed it. Good you found your wand back in time, Hermione, or Ringo wouldn’t be here now. “ George said. They all had several bruises, but nothing more had happened. The sect was down, but the guru had fled. “I could do with a computer right now, just for some distraction. “ Trinity said thoughtfully, what made the Beatles and Ron look at her as though she had said she needed a space ship to fly back to her home on Venus. “A what, please?” Ron and Paul asked in unison. “A computer, of course. A machine where you can work with texts, or send messages...” “Or hack in some government systems, what you usually do...” “don’t interrupt me, Neo. Or play games and so on. Ron, how comes you don’t know about computers? You live in a time where they ‘re already very popular.” “ In the magical world, there are no computers.” Harry explained. “He’s never seen one.” “Stop discussing about it, then. First, it’s all science-fiction to us two, the sect is down, yes, but we still have other enemies to conquer, right?” Paul had stood up. “Let’s move on to the deaf leaders, or whatever you call your black wizards.” “Just one minute: If anyone starts to say: avada kedavra, kill him before he finishes it, or you will die without any chance to do anything, without any possibilities to help you, okay?” Hermione said, making Neo laugh: “ Yeah, after this little encouraging speech, we are all ready to go. In the mood for facing Anna Katilina?” “It really ain’t funny.” “Stop rowing, here they come!” George suddenly said. Some of the death eaters had just apparated, but this time, another man was with them. “Oh my god, it’S Voldemort himself!” Harry whispered. “That’s You-know-who?” Ron sounded more curious than scared. “ No, I don’T know who it is. Hey, Mr. Volley-know-who, go away, I am Paul McCartney, and I’ve just been taught how to beat people like you up!” “First, we do away with that stupid wand, honey!” Before he could do anything, Trinity had grabbed Voldemort’s wand, and snapped it in two. “But—I’m the dark lord, you can’t just- my wand, buhuuu!” Voldemort sat down on the ground, face in his hands, and started to cry. Astonished, the fighters looked at each other, and so did the death eaters. “ Hey, Mr. Voldemort-stupid name, what’s your first name, by the way? – calm down, we only wanted to be safe.” “My name is Tom.” “So is mine-at least, it was before I changed it.” “You did? *sniff* So did I ...” “Okay, Tom, please tell your people to leave these kids alone, or we’ll have to kill them. “ “No, it’s not that easy. I’m the most terrible black magic wizard in the last few centuries! I can’t just give up, I have to kill Harry Potter! “ “Listen” Trinity was saying “I might not be in the position to tell anyone so, but never kill people without any reason. Why don’t you try and talk to Harry? You might lose the stupid thought of killing him.” “ Exactly” John carried on. “ Or at least make clear to us, and as well to yourself, why do you want to kill Harry at all?” “Because I didn’t manage to kill him as a baby. “ Voldemort was surprised no one got his point. “ Everybody gets what he deserves. Aren’t you ashamed, attacking babies?” Paul added. “Stop it, please. I’m supposed to be the bad guy, here. I’m very sorry about it, but my death eaters will kill you now.” “The death eaters lifted their wands. “Are we allowed to sing a last song.?” George asked. “Okay, you are. As soon as you have ended, you will die.” “May we sing along?” Neo asked. “Of course, you have to. One two three: Hey Jude, don’t make it bad,...” “Hang on, you haven’t written that song yet!” Hermione dared to say. “So? But it can be sung on and on. As soon as I sing nanana for the first time, you attack, but don’t stop singing, or they’ll kill you.” Paul explained. “Okay. “ Morpheus jumped in the direction of the first death eater, and forced him down with a blow to the chest. One of the fellow death eaters cast a killing curse, but Morpheus ducked and the spell hit another death eater. Meanwhile, Harry had stunned another death eater, and Neo had managed to change things so the death eaters couldn’t cast any more spells, but lots of flowers came out of their wands instead. Soon some hippies joined the fighters, taking on the death eaters as well, as soon as they found out that the music would stop if ever the death eaters succeeded to kill their enemies. Hermione amused herself with a joint one of the hippies had given her, Ron conjured up some hippie clothing for Voldemort, who was now running around, yelling: “Make love, not war! Flower power! Give peace a chance! Free love! I hope, you have dope! Wer zweimal mit derselben pennt, gehört schon zum Establishment!” Trinity dropped the last of the death eaters and asked: “Since when do you know German? And, anyway, all of you, aren’t you too early? Your movement will start in 1968,. And now it’s 1965.” “Why do YOU tell us? You’re from 2203, so you shouldn’t be as well.” A hippie girl said. “How do you know that?” Ron asked “Wait a minute-you remind me of someone-or do I have a déjà-vu?” At this words, Morpheus, Neo and Trinity prepared to run, but they were stopped by the girl’s words: “ As a matter of fact, you do know me. You three do, and these three, who want to run from me, do it as well.” “The Oracle!” “Professor Trelawney!” “You’ve got another job, beside teaching?” Hermione asked, literally stunned(because Ron had accidentally cast a stunning spell).”You know, my dear, at Hogwarts, no one would believe me, even if I spoke true. So I decided to play an old liar there, and make the real prophecies to these people, who are ready to believe me...” “Excusez-moi, cette fille m’a apporté dans cette histoire, et je veux revenir à la France. Pourriez-vous me ramener?” “Oh, Monsieur LePen, we completely forgot about you... wait a minute” And LePen finally disappeared from that story. “We have to go, that Voldemort-guy has escaped. And there are still the agents.” Trinity said. “Yeah, back in the car. I will drive again” John yelled. “ Er- when does the next bus go?”
They really took the bus, though John was slightly insulted. But there- “That driver, he looks exactly like an agent!” Neo whispered. “but he seems to be human.” “God, I wouldn’t fancy looking like an agent all the time.” Trinity answered. {this is dedicated to a real bus driver. He’s driven the bus I was sitting in while writing that, and that was the first time I saw him in the afternoon. Usually, I see him in the school bus every morning. And he looks so much like the Agents in “The Matrix” that I wouldn’t be very surprised if he pulled out a gun and chased some rebels....} But in the end, he really dind’t seem to be an agent because he didn’t attack them.
“Hey, Mr. Agent, you over there!” Hermione tried to draw his attention to her, covering her wand with her sleeve, and as he approached, she did the strictly forbidden, she lifted it, and murmured:” Aaavaddda keddavrrra!”(trembling, because she was afraid of doing so.)and he fell to the ground, turning back into some old woman. Hermione was very pale: ”If ever the ministry finds out...” but no one heard her, because just then, John and Paul similiar kicked another agent. “It’s pointless, we can’t fight them, they’re almighty.” “No one is, let’s sing a bit.It worked with the death eaters, so it will work with them as well.” But suddenly the agents disappeared.
They had finally decided to run away instead of fighting on. Now they were back at the little house, sitting in the garden again. “You know, it’s time now -for us to go back. We would change too much of history if we stayed here, In fact, we already did. And I think I can take us back without any incidents now. I will have the try, at least.” Neo said slowly. “But-you’re all so funny. Life is an adventure since we’ve met you. More than music and stupid interviews.” John said. ”Music is your fate. And you know, I like your later songs much more, so you have to write them!” “I see. You have to go, we have to stay...” “Go back to your studio, now. We don’t want to take you into our time, that would be too much.” “Hey, do us a favour: visit us, in the future, we will be delighted. And now, e really should go. Brian{Epstein, their manager} is waiting for us. We had an appointment half an hour ago.” Everybody yelled ”bye” and waved as the Beatles’ car disappeared(This time, George was driving.). And suddenly, no one was at the old little house any more.
“It’s now half an hour earlier than when we picked you up. Er-could any of you summon the disk we were looking for? It would be much easier.” Morpheus said. And—what a surprise—the summoning spell worked! Holding the disk, Morpheus picked up a ringing phone, and was gone. “Wow! I didn’t know muggle phones work like that!” Ron said. “Usually, they don’t. Just our exits do, and only for us.” Trinity explained, smiling. She picked up the phone next and disappeared as well. “Watch out, maybe we will contact you alter, when you’ve finshed school...” Neo said, then exiting. “There you are. You’re not a split second too late. Cool!” “Sirius! You won’t believe it! We’ve been in 1965! We’ve been time travelling!” “What? How?” “Neo did it, he is the One, he wanted to go half an hour backwards, with Morpheus and Trinity-“ “we met the Beatles! Paul was just writing Yesterday, and John’s a miserable driver...” “You should see them fight, wow! We fought some death eaters, and a crazy sect...” “Okay, okay. I think you’ve been in the sun too long, Come on, let’s go”.
What they didn’t know was that at the same time, an aged sect boss with his new disciples, Lord Voldemort and some agents met somewhere.....
THE END? (Who knows)

Written by SugarAnnie , May/June 2002

The desert of the real Strawberry Fields nine and three quarters

Especially to Isa, who knew it!

„Strange“ Ringo thought when he got up „I got the feeling something will happen, but I can’t explain it.“ He went downstairs and noticed that a letter was lying at the kitchen table. Curiously, he opened it and found a piece of paper on which was written:
Our enemies are still the same
It’s still the others who’s to blame
The only way to stand a fight
Is for us to reunite
Reunite? With whom? What was that about? He began to eat breakfast and had soon forgotten about the letter.
The same morning, Harry had got the same letter. He showed it to Ron and Hermione on their way to Hogsmeade. “To me, it’s clear: computer-printed, someone we stood a fight with, reunite- we were told they would contact us, weren’t we?” “You mean, it was either a Beatle or a resistance fighter who wrote this?” “What fighters? And anyway, why didn’t you wait for me?” Ginny had come up to them. “Please, tell me!” “All right, but it’s a long story. Last summer, at Harry’s birthday, we just were sitting in a park, thinking nothing.....”
Half an hour later, they were through with their explanation. Ginny was laughing like mad: “ Okay, now I understand. On Harry’s birthday, you all went to cinema and watched some crazy sci-fi movie, and after that, you went home and listened to some Beatles records, and now you made such a story up, because there’s something you don’t want me to know. You want to keep your secrets. What is it? Ron, is it you and Hermione, eh? Or-“ she silenced for a moment at the mere thought “ Harry, you?” “No, we told you the truth!” “But truth is most times the best lie” someone said softly. Ginny spun around and found herself facing Neo. “So I understand you just found us an ally?” “You-you’re a person out of this-that crazy story???” Ginny stuttered. “Are you that guy who’s to save the world?” “Yes, but why keeps everybody repeating this? Harry, Ron, why do you go telling it round? Now come with me, quick!” He grabbed Harry’s arm and tried to pull him away, but—“Hey. You, let him go! I’m warning you! LET GO!” “It’s alright Sirius, he-“ “Let GO!!!!!!” Neo obeyed, looking surprised. “ He is someone who is on our side, he already helped me out of a tarp the death eaters set for me... twice!” Sirius relaxed. “Oh, excuse me, I thought...” “No time, come with me...”
They met up with Paul and Ringo at Paul’s house some time later. The two Beatles were now to old to fight, but they had a role to play nevertheless... “But I don’t want to just sit around, watch monitors and take phone calls! And after all, the sect is after ME!” Ringo said. “Does that mean you’re still wearing that stupid sacrifice ring? Why didn’t you take it off during the last 37 years?” Morpheus couldn’t believe his eyes. “Er, you know- it does look kind of nice that ring, doesn’t it? Does anyone want some fruit cake?” Paul tried to take a piece, but—“Hey, do we need a new weapon? It’s harder than any metal- and much easier to get ...” {another real thing: Chriss bought such a cake during our stay in London...} “Is this a playground fight, where we can win by throwing around cakes, or sand...Try to be serious, you know what our foes are capable of...” “Okay, sorry. But-you know, we want to have a bigger part than watching you.” “Do you believe in fate?” “Don’t you change the subject now! I want an answer!” Ringo was really angry now. “Well, if you do, then you will believe that you will play your part, in time...”
“Okay” The sect boss was saying “Introduce your colleagues to us” “ All right” Agent Jones said. “ These are Agents Brown, Miller and Baker. One is yet to come.” A few minutes later, the door opened again and another agent, this time a female, came in. “Ah, Agent Bitch, where have you been?” “ To London, I was pretending to be a German tourist while observing someone there. I slept in a youth hostel, can you imagine it? And then some real Germans came! They would have found me out, so I threw them out of the room as often as I could.” “Alright, enough of that. What is your plan?” the sect boss interrupted. “Okay, our plan is….”
They were sitting in a car, driving out of town. A storm had begun, and Ginny was looking out, looking slightly scared. “ Can’t we stop for the night somewhere? It’s late and that weather…” Hermione suggested.
They stopped at an old castle and entered. But suddenly the door closed behind them. “I don’t feel well at this. It is a trap, it seems” Sirius whispered. And sure enough, Agent Bitch appeared, saying threateningly: “ This is a girl’s room. Get out boys…. Er- I wanted to say the game is over , you lost. Suddenly, Agents, sect people And death eaters appeared from everywhere and it went dark. Then the light flashed on again, but it was different. “Have they got light swords?” Ron asked. “Rubbish, this is no crossover with star wars. It’s just UV light.” Trinity said. “Okay, let’s fight.” Sirius whispered something and music began to play. The king of Marigold was in the kitchen, cooking breakfast for the queen “Yes, we have a chance! We still got them as a backup!” Sirius yelled. “Whom?” asked the others in unison. The queen was in the parlour, playing piano for the children of the king .”Who is singing that song, eh?” “The Rolling Stones?” “Elvis?” “The Beatles, you idiots.” Sirius said while taking out his wand and attacking the nearest foe. Cry, baby, cry, make your mother sigh, “Anyway, Elvis IS alive, he’s got some high position in Zion.” Morpheus said. She’s old enough to know better, so cry, baby, cry. Paul and Ringo were sitting in front of a screen, watching the fight like some action movie, eating popcorn and drinking cola. The king was in the garden, picking flowers for a friend who came to play Ron became unconscious as he tried to imitate a move in mid air Neo had made and hit his head while falling down. The queen was in the playroom, painting pictures for the children’s holiday Professor McGonagall checked her wristwatch. “These four! They’re still not back. Unless they got an good argument, like having to save the world, they will have so much trouble.” Cry, baby, cry, make your mother sigh, the fight went on, now even harder. No one saw any difference between friend and foe, but yet, it worked. She’s old enough to know better, so cry, baby, cry. The Oracle decided to help, and called Paul and Ringo, but, Paul answered the phone, saying: “Not now, we’re watching a really cool fight!” The duchess of Kilcardy, always smiling and arriving late for tea Hermione stunned the third agent in a row and attacked a sect member. The duke was having problems with a message at the local bird and bee Some of the sect members took flight because they saw how their co-members were beaten down Cry, baby, cry, make your mother sigh, she’s old enough to know better, so cry, baby, cry More and more enemies disappeared, being much too scared Twelve o’clock a meeting , round the table for a séance in the dark. Hermione was stunned by a death eater Voices out of nowhere, put out specially by the children for a lark. Cry, baby, cry, make your mother sigh, she ‘s old enough to know better, so cry baby cry. Stop, we have no enemies any more. “ Neo said. “Let’s stay here for the night.”
The next morning, they were just sitting around the table when the door opened and a girl with blonde coloured hair came in. “Hi, I’m Gemma. Last night, I was at my friend’s and we, you know, DID IT, for the 47th time now. And his cousin’s in a band, he’s a singer, and I can sing much better, do you want me to sing to you: I’ve got a dog, he’s called Waldi, and is a real Dackel! Sweet, isn’t it? “ “oh, my god, this has to be a secret weapon. She is to unnerve us enough so we won’t stand a fight.” Suddenly some seagulls came in and started to circle around the light.
“I think we are facing a very serious problem” Morpheus said. “What do you think, why are they all gone? Do you really think we’ve beaten all our enemies?” ”Maybe they had a more important appointment?” Ron suggested. “Yeah, of course, they wanted to see a porno tonight?” Sirius said sarcastically. “Well, that wasn’t so bad for a first guess, but it’s something else they want to do, something very dangerous...for us!” “You mean... they are going to take something we need, to blackmail us?” Neo was having an idea. “They will take Paul and Ringo? “ “I fear so”.
What’s that supposed to be? Why aren’t they fighting any more, but only talking:” Ringo was a bit angry that the show was over. “No idea, why do you ask me?” Suddenly , there was a knock on the door. “Who’s there” Paul asked. “The postman. I’ve got a parcel for you.”....
“Since when are or postmen wearing this banker suits and sunglasses? You resemble someone..” “Paul, are you completely stupid? He’s an agent! Close the door, quick!” but it was already too late.
When they arrived at the house where the two Beatles had been, the door was open, and no one was there any more, but a laptop was standing at the table, and it was turned on.
“What the...” Sirius gasped, as a lot of strange symbols suddenly appeared on the screen. Trinity quickly sat down and typed for a few minutes, and then the symbols changed into a kind of letter. It read:
Going through a wall
You’ll feel very small
A number is your clue
But hurry, they wait for you
Nothing is real
And nothing to get hungabout
Strawberry fields forever
Time is till seven
To find heaven
Think of yourself
“Er-what do you think about that?” Harry asked. “The last verse is incomplete. There’s either a line missing or it’s been written like this.” Ginny answered. “It’s a riddle” Neo resumed, not realising how Harry’s eyes opened widely in shock. “We have to find out what it means.”
“I think the fifth, sixth and seventh line are from a Beatles song. That’s to show us what they’ve taken. We are to go somewhere and find them, but where?” Trinity said. “And we’ve got time till seven. “ added Ron. “And I know where they will be!!!” Hermione yelled. “C’mon guys just think about it! Where do you come when you go through a wall?” Now Harry, Ron, Ginny and Sirius understood it, too. “That number, it’s nine and three quarters!” ”We got to go to platform nine and three quarters.” But how are we supposed to come to London so fast?” “How about a car?”
“Steal one?” Harry was taken aback. “Do you have enough money to buy one?” To Morpheus, it wasn’t more than necessary.
By the time, they reached London, it had already begun to be dark, and it had started to snow. When they reached King’s Cross, they went straight through the wall onto platform nine and three quarters.
They found Ringo and Paul bound to a stone column, surrounded by agents, Death eaters and the Kaili-sect. The sect boss smiled at them: “Well, well, our first personal meeting since 1965, you remember?” “You’re the guy I accidentally summoned!” Harry said. “Good you remind me of it, I need revenge!” the sect-boss answered coolly, what

caused Sirius to step in front of Harry and look at the boss menacingly. But this wasn’t necessary any more, because Neo had already beaten down the boss.
Agent Bitch turned up, one arm around Gemma: ”I must say, you’re more intelligent than I thought. You didn’t get into our trap! But what do you want to do now, eh? These death people have closed the door back into the station and now, you’re locked in here. We’ll now finish you off! Sect, sacrifice your ring-bearer.”{I managed to bring a component of LOTR into it, as you asked me to, Conny!}They started to paint Ringo red, and then started to sing: “Sometimes, I wish I was an aaaaaaangel. I’m in love with an alien.....I will be your briiiiiide, Maaaaamaaaaaa...:” Everybody pressed their hands to their ears, feeling tortured.
They started to attack, but this turned out very difficult, without taking their hands off their ears.
And then it happened: Agent Smith grabbed Neo and pulled him down onto the rails. “Oh, a deja-vu” Morpheus said, but then he silenced: a train arrived. They did not manage to get up again and....
...were standing in the middle of a circle of very big stones, among a dozen of hooded creatures. “Stonehenge?” Neo whispered. “How did we get here?” One of the druids started to talk, and though he was speaking a kind of Gaelic language, they understood him:” Again, it is time for the rite. We will ask the spirits to show us the meaning of this place.”
“Wow, we’re gonna find out the real meaning of this!” But they didn’t, because...
... the train had passed, and they were standing at the station again. And yet, this event had made the difference. For all their enemies were rather flabbergasted, they didn’t resist much any more as there were suddenly stunning spells yelled. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Sirius had taken their chance. And when half of the enemies had been taken down, the others had decided to help, and in the end, there were only a few left: The agents, Voldemort and two of his death eaters and the sect boss. And they disappeared.
“Where have you been?” Minerva McGonagall hadn’t been that angry for a very long time. ”I want an explanation why you didn’t come back from your Hogsmeade visit!” “We had to hide, there were some of the death eaters.” Hermione explained. They had thought about what they were going to tell her before they had entered the castle. “Detention, on next Monday, and now go to bed.” She snapped. On their way upstairs to their dormitory, Ron said: “ I would like to know what the others are doing.”
Ringo was sitting at his kitchen table and wondered whether he had really seen all these things or just been asleep. People from his past, appearing and not being more than a few months older, him and Paul kidnapped and brought to a place where you came by going thorough a wall, men run over by trains and appearing again, unhurt, wizards and terrorists...he decided it had just been a dream. When he stood up and opened a window, he didn’t notice a small letter on the table being blown under the wardrobe...
When waking up in the real world, Neo was still angry, and now he told the others, why: “ We were just about to find out the secret of Stonehenge, and then that stupid train had passed...” For an instant, Trinity grinned, but then, she was serious again: ”You know, maybe it’s better not to know it. Maybe it would have been something as simple as an orientation mark for sailors, or something along that ways. isn’t it better not to be omniscient? You will keep your dreams about it, and if that’s not enough for you, maybe we can return there. And maybe, just maybe, somehow we’ll find out.”

This time, I won’t say it’S the end, because everybody would know I will go on with that...

Written by Sugarannie, July2002(Torquay!!!) ‘til November2002(Ormesheim)
{with a big break, mind you}

Come together at Hogwarts, room 303

The concert was over and the four Beatles were standing in a hotel room. „I think I’ll go to bed, I’m tired.“ John said and got up. „Ah, come on, have a last drink“ Paul grabbed for a bottle, but when he took a glass from the shelf, he disappeared. „Aaaargh!“ Ringo had been the only one watching. “What’s up?” “Why are you screaming?” George and John turned around. “Paul touched the glass, and then he was gone!” “Honestly, Ringo, ho many drinks have you had? That’S just an ordinary glass.” George picked up the glass, that was lying on the floor, to prove his point. Just as Paul had done, he disappeared. “Let’s go and get some help” Ringo whispered. “And leave them alone? No way, let’s follow them.” John grabbed the glass and disappeared as well. When he had gone, Ringo sighed, then hesitantly toched the glass.
They were standing, all four, in front of a big, ancient castle. “Where are we?” Ringo asked. “No ifdea, but there’s light up there. Let’s go and ask the inhabitants.!” When they entered the Entrance Hall, they found themselves facing a lot of children wearing black coats and pointed hats. They were watching the four intruders closely, who began to feel uncomfortable. “Let’s go out again. “ John whispered, but they had not even had enough time to turn around when someone called:” Hey, guys, what are you doing here at Hogwarts?” For a moment they had to think about who had spoken to them, but then they turned back and faced the speaker asnd his friends: “Harry? Ron? Hermione?” “Yes, come on, up.” “Up?” “To our dormitory.” After they had reached the boys’ dormitory, Paul asked: ”Could you explain to us, by any chance, why we ended up here- at this place and in your time, just by touching a simple drinking glass?” “A portkey! That glass must have been a portkey, a magical object used for travelling!” Hermione answered. {okay, I don’t think Portkeys can be used for time travelling, but for now, they have to!}
* * *
When he woke up, Neo was trying to remember what he had just dreamed. He knew it had been about the magic people and the Beatles. I’m taking it all too serious, he thought, why do I feel so different about this than about all the other strange things I’m doing. “Something wrong, Neo?” He had woken Trinity. “Just a nightmare, go back to sleep.” ”What time is it?” “About seven a.m.” “Alright then, let’s get up” They dressed and went over to the mess hall. Morpheus was already sitting there, having breakfast.
After breakfast, they went into the Matrix and ended up in an abandoned hotel. A dirty drinking glass was lying on the floor. Trinity picked it up- ad disappeared. “Oh my... what happened?” Neo couldn’t believe his eyes, he just stood there and stare. Morpheus, however, took out a cell phone and dialled a number. “Tank? Can you tell me what’s wrong here?” ”Nothing’s wrong, she’s just been replaced somewhere else, I don’t know how. But I do know that you can follow by touching that glass.” “Okay, thank you.” A few seconds later, they had emerged in the Hogwarts grounds. “Hey, I’ve been near here before.” Neo said. “It’s that wizarding school Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny attend.” “Okay, why don’t we ask someone whether we could arrange to meet them.” Trinity suggested. “There’s a woman over there, let’s ask her.” “Excuse me?” Neo said. “Can you tell us where we can find Harry Potter?” “Why do you want to know this? Who are you? You can come up to my office, and then we’ll see.” The woman answered. She led them up into the castle, to a small room with a sign on the door reading M. McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress. “Now , who are you? Why do you want to see Harry?” “Well, we met him on his last summer holidays, and for we were just- er- close by, we thought it would be nice to visit him.” Trinity answered. The deputy headmistress relaxed somehow. “Sorry I was bothering you, but particularly this boy needs protection. I’ll go and ask him whether he wants to see you or not. Your names, please?” “Tell him, Morpheus, Neo and Trinity are here.”
* * *
A few minutes later, Harry appeared, along with Ron and Hermione. “What is this all about? First the Beatles show up and tell me something about a glass in a hotel that transported them here, and now you are here...” “We’re here for exactly the same reason, we touched a glass in an abandoned hotel and ended up in front of your school.” Neo said. “But that would mean someone turned that glass into a portkey, and everybody touches it. That can’t be coincidence.” Hermione wondered. “Well, we probably won’t succeed finding it out, so let’s give it up. Where are the others?” Morpheus intervined. “They’re up in a cave at the mountains, where no one will find them. We’ll bring you there, and then we plan what we’re gonna do.” They went out of the castle and started to walk towards the mountains.
They all sat on the floor of the cave, around a fire, and started to talk about what happened to them, and soon they moved on to what they should do now. “Well, we could try to find stay here and fight all death eaters, so that there are none left and then we can move on to our other enemies.” John suggested. “Quite a good idea” someone said at the entrance. “But I don’t think you’ll ever succeed realizing that.” “Sirius! Come and sit down.” “Why do you think we can’t succeed, Mr. Black?” Morpheus asked. “Now, you know, even if you managed to kill all death eaters, there would still be Voldemort himself, wouldn’t he? And I think that even if he died, we would never conquer Evil as such.” “That’s a bit too philosophical for me.” Ringo laughed. “I’ll go outside for a minute.” “So we can only try to repel the forces of evil as far as we can, and if any life is saved, only one single life, we HAVE SUCCEEDED.” Trinity murmured. “So we can…” but she was interrupted by Ringo who poked his head back in: “Hey, guys, guess what? IT SNOWS!!!” “Yes!” Harry, Ron and Hermione yelled in unison, and they ran out. “They’re so childish, aren’t they?” George said. “So? Let’S follow them and have some fun!” Sirius answered, and they went after the kids-


After half an hour of snowball fight, they were all too exhausted to carry on, and dropped on the floor of the cave again. “That was SO much fun.”Hermione panted. “Yeah, it was.” Paul agreed. “We should go back to our subject nevertheless.” Harry suggested. “What do you think – what are we able to do against the problems we are facing?” “How about trying to find any weak point to their ideology? We could try to make them believe any rubbish and that would make them forget about us- or even better, make them fight each other instead?” Hermione had a go. “Wow, that does sound good. But how would we do this?” John asked. “Well we have to attack one of them in a way that makes them think of someone else.” Neo answered. “I’ve got an idea!” Ginny interrupted. “Well, you said your sect uses red colour as their sign, and your government agents will have an office, or haven’t they?” Both the Beatles and the resistance fighters nodded. “Okay, how about stealing some files from them, and leave some red colour and the sect’s sacrifice dagger there?” “What about the Death Eaters?” Harry asked. “Easy, if the sect finds out they’ve been betrayed, they’ll want to kill the persons who tricked them. And then they’ll find all signs poinitng towards the Death Eaters. “ “Wow!” Ringo gasped. “Let’s really do this.” “I think we could do the break-in.” Trinity said. “We’ve done this kind of stuff before.” “I could lend you my Invisibility cloak if you want me to.” Harry added. “I can summon the dagger and the colour, if someone lends me their wand for a moment.” Sirius seemed to like the idea.
“And if you tell us some more things about the D.E.s, we’ll send an anonymous letter to the Kaili-Sect, telling them who did this to them, you know.” John yelled, obviously afraid he and his friends wouldn’t have any part to play.




This was obviously unfinished...but hey, there had to be a point where I realised it's...well, not the greatest work of art ever